Family Connection in the Time of Coronavirus
Planning for your family’s extended time at home

Picture this: A time when families eat meals together, play board games and read books. Children explore nature — go for hikes, climb trees, play with water and stare at the stars.

While we pray for a speedy recovery and prevention of further spreading of the coronavirus and wish health for anyone immune compromised, elderly, or exposed; we must take this time to focus on family bonds and personal health.

We are being forced to become a mindful society focusing on our hands, mouths, body and interactions with others. Looking at surfaces and slowing down to speak about our health; to share our love and concerns. We have to consider what we need in our homes, how we use our time, and connect inwards to care for our mind, body and soul. We have to think and choose our words wisely, and protect our children.

Now, with school and community closure we can bring our lives even closer — we have been mandated to have FAMILY TIME AT HOME.

We can use this time to reflect on the positives of life and the things (big and small) to be grateful for. With months of unexpected home time for your children, here are some recommended strategies to follow:

Check in on your child (Is your child worried?) Children display emotions in a variety of ways. Being aware of your child’s actions and words will support connection, reduce anxiety and promote overall psychological and emotional health.

Notice if your child is speaking repetitively about the coronavirus; Is he making ideas of how to solve it or asking excessive questions?

• Even if a child appears calm, he may still be ruminating on the topic. Set specific times to talk and help the child expand on the topic into science, history or present facts, and encourage alternative outlets (ie, drawing, writing).

Notice if your child is lingering, more tired, clingy; Is she delaying getting out of bed, asking for more help, whining?

• If a child appears needy, this is a beautiful adaptive skill she/he has found to gain information of who is there for her/him. The child may be testing to ensure her/his safety.
• Add in extra time to join in on tasks — brush teeth together, have the child work with you to make dinner, set out clothes for bed or give extra hugs.

Notice if your child is being excessively silly or moving more than usual; Is she pacing around the room, sarcastically saying she or someone else has the virus. Is she not as focused as normal?

• If a child appears to avoid questions, makes outbursts that make you feel uncomfortable or the child appears to be disconnected, support other appropriate ways to be silly; tell jokes, make a funny skit or dance.
• Support a routine and provide clear information about safety in your environment. What is actually true today (I.e. we are all healthy)
• Use a visual tool to show daily events and expectations.

Create or adjust Home Agreements. Setting consistent agreements to support regulation (organization creates a feeling of safety and independence/control). Predictability encourages connection and comfort.
● Schedule a parental meeting to decide and plan daily activities, including any changes in supervision of children.
● Schedule phone and screen use (for both you and your children)

• When children wake up, put away your phone and connect for at least 20 minutes.
• Put phones away during connection points and planning moments.
• Use visual aids on paper or chalkboard to reinforce the schedule and/or tasks (use shared calendar on phones only for care-providers, not for child viewing)

● Collaborate on the plan for each day. This allows you to keep what works and modify as needed. Create a visual plan of daily events including open time.
● Introduce or reinforce daily chores/tasks like making beds, joining in making breakfast or cleaning up after themselves.

Create engaging activities at home. Use themes to support creative plans for the day, and help link all the moments together. Slow down and use the day for each step — separating tasks will build time and balance.

• Change environments — even inside your house — use different spaces to evoke new feelings and ideas.
• Allow for group and individual time. With everyone under one roof, separating out time for each person to work independently, in pairs and as a group will allow for variation in the day and honor everyone’s space.
• Make mealtime fun and meaningful. Sit down for all meals, create menus, take turns cooking, have themes, practice etiquette (fun table manners) and engage in family discussion.
• Schedule nap time and relaxed days — don’t make this a habit but intentionally allow for time to sleep in and veg out. Planning allows for clear expectations and follow through.
• Stay positive and remove blame (ie. I can’t do this, I have to work…replace with, I’d love to play at 3pm, right now I am…reading, working, etc). Be specific and clear.
• Share Kindness: Create kind messages to send to friends, family, and each other. Use this time to reflect and be vulnerable to say what’s in your heart — only thoughtful and kind words.

Develop Themes for Playing:

• Explore Senses — use sounds, different sights, textures, and smells to evoke engagement.
• Explore different cities or faraway places by creating a day in Paris, Africa, or Australia.
• Use colors to explore a day of matching and sharing.
• Explore etiquette by pretending you are all at a magical castle, with manners (bowing and sitting straight for dinner), reading and walking in the garden.
• Mindfulness: Include time for moving, listening to breathing and observation. Try out Binaural Beats, Yoga Nidra, Cosmic Kids, and more!
• Movement: Include cardio movement to get heart rates up and regulate breathing to allow for relaxation, de stressing and for connection to take place.
• Technology? Rules — if they can watch it — can they do it? Take lessons online and then create on paper or out loud. If they watch a story, can they write a summary, act it out or make up a family connection to what they saw? Limit time frame and use it as a way to snuggle together and enjoy. Make all time MEANINGFUL!
• Create Scavenger hunts — Make a list of items and have your kids search around the house and in the yard. From a small green leaf to a red balloon. Any moment can become an “I spy” game or a scavenger exploration.

Create a Sensory Diet for the day: A helpful way to set up the day can be to use the senses to ensure you’ve tackled every part of learning.

Smell: Start with smells and textures for eating breakfast.
Sight: Go on a nature walk outside the yard, street or even inside the house. Wake up your eyes to a beautiful new day.
Sound: Engage in a Simon says game, listen to a book, music or podcast. Get your mind motivated with information and words.
Touch: Wash hands. Create with clay, paper, tape, blocks, art materials and more! Use nature and be creative to allow children to feel and use a variety of textures. Play in water, whipped cream and food.
Taste: Try some psychology and science based projects. Guess what foods you are eating while holding your nose, pretend you are Gordon Ramsey and start your own cooking show, or explore different culinary arrangements.

SLOW DOWN, ACCEPT THE MOMENT AND ENJOY THIS TIME TOGETHER